5 Things On Every Gamers’ Wish List( That Shouldn’t Be)

Recently, Nintendo discontinued the production of the NES Classic Edition, a “mini” console that prompted a nationwide debauchery of nostalgia when it was first released. Why were they so passionately fondling their memories? Well, it was a smaller version of the original NES, like the one they had as children! And what did they complain […]

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Science Says Dogs Are Better Friends Than People

Dogs are the purest beings in this world, and yes, Im including Beyonc so dont ask. Theyre our confidantes, our companions, and most importantly, they listen to all our problems without decision since they are dont have a very good comprehend on English beyond no, stay, seriously , no, I mean it, and pizza. Every […]

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6 Feel-Good Narratives From 2015 That Had Horrible Endings

As far as years run, 2015 was a combination of both ass and balls. Between terrorist attacks, a cartoonish primary season, and just plain old sucking, we had only a few morsels of elation to tide us over, like that one Twitter account that rates puppies. So, it pains us to inform you that all […]

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How Pop Culture Literally Saved My Life

Pop culture is everywhere. It’s the music we listen to, the books we read, and the fictional characters we print on our body pillows. And I’m profoundly fascinated by it, which led to my current career in which I attempt to shout over the whirlpool of the internet about why my opinions about Superman are […]

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Do You Want To Define Your Hand On Fire? 6 Fun Science Tricks

Science is the exacting method by which human has wrested control of the elements from the cruel clutches of the universe. Experiment by experiment, we have slowly earned our mastery over the millennia. Until, at last, we have reached the present day. The modern day. The day “when hes” are — all of us — […]

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Thank god we all had our feelings surgically removed a long time ago, because love doesnt just make you blind, crazy, and/or annoying to everyone you encounter. Apparently, love is literally an addiction for some people, and now that I think about it, everything makes so much more sense now. Kylie and her ultra-mediocre rapper […]

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4 Mystical Healing Techniques I Tried( Failed Terribly)

I’ve been feeling a little under the weather lately due to the fact that winter is the season of squalor and utter bullshit. Naturally, I aimed up falling ailment after some leper polluted me with their filth particles and rendered me toxic with bronchitis and excessive mucus production. Hey, stranger who can’t wash their goddamn […]

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Cracked Store Update: From Tim Burton To X-treme Cats

The following is a received transcript of an unaired segment of the canceled reality cooking prove UBERCHEF , hosted by GORDON RAMSAY KNOCKOFF. UBERCHEF EPISODE 1 CONT . INT. UBERCHEF KITCHEN GORDON RAMSAY KNOCKOFF and bubbly Cracked intern DAN DUDDY stand face-to-face, an array of covered gourmet dishes lined on a table between them. GORDON […]

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8 Upcoming Movies That Deserve All The Hype

It’s Oscar season, folks. While most of the industry is hovering around Leonardo DiCaprio waiting to see how hard he’ll crack if he doesn’t get a little gold man trophy, the craziest movies out there aren’t getting nearly enough hype. That’s where our ongoing series about the lesser-known grotesqueries soon to be haunting your theaters […]

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