5 Ways You’re Tricking Yourself Into Not Being Happy

Are you not happy? Is it for reasons other than external forces-out out of your control? Do you already detest me for asking? Then read on. Because having stared at the Internet for a while now , nothing is more obvious to me than the sheer number of viciously angry, angry people online. And rage […]

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Taylor Swift Has Beef With Youtube Now

Taylor Swift has proven herself to be quite the Kris Jenner-esque businesswoman in recent years. I mean, who else remembers that time she merely NBD trademarked a bunch of slick phrases from her songs. Pretty sure none of us are allowed to even say “this sick beat“without paying her a royalty of five cats. Well […]

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Cracked’s Holiday Gift Guide For Your Sidekicks And Pets!

“The Holidays” Round One is over and now you’re slumped back at your desk, picking marshmallows off a glob of leftover yam casserole. This is a time to reflect and appreciate all those people who genuinely matter: the human and animal companions who somehow tolerate your nonsense and induce your wretched period on this crumbling […]

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The 6 Most Embarrassing Superhero Costume Updates

Most superheroes have been around for decades, so they often feeling the need to do something drastic in order to stay fresh and relevant. And most superheroes execute this as well as any 60 -year-old trying to stay hip and with it: Desperate, but with a hint of hilarious. The following are some costume redesigns […]

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4 WTF Hypothetical Questions Raised By Horror Movies

Movie ogres always work with a strict set of rules, like how zombies have to eat the flesh of the living, Predators can see in infrared, or Terminators always seem to age poorly despite being immortal robots. But while writers expend a lot of time making their creepy critters as well-rounded and plausible as possible, […]

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4 Everyday Thing We Can’t Stop Lying To Ourselves About

One of the greatest comebacks in mankind’s history is yelling “Lalala, I can’t hear you! ” over someone else who is making a phase, thereby proving that you are the superior intellect and the other person can go fuck a duffel bag full of cantaloupes. This is often known as “willful ignorance” or simply “being […]

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4 Cliche Horror Movie Scares That Require To Be Retired

If there’s one thing everyone likes, it’s being frightened. Ask anyone who suffers night terrors. But while we all enjoy a good scare, ones that fit the “good” part of that statement are becoming more and more scarce. The whole horror movie genre’s been get a little lazy lately, resting on its bloody laurels and […]

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5 Newspaper Article From History You’ll Swear I’m Making Up

As I read through hundreds of old newspaper article researching a couple of past column, I came across a handful of ridiculous narratives that I couldn’t turn into standalone columns. That’s when I remembered that John Cheese is the head of columns, and he dedicates about 2 percent of precisely one fuck. He was like, […]

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Snow White Is A LOTR Sequel: A Mind-Blowing Theory

In 1937, a story involving dwarfs came out which paved the way for its creator to define a large swath of nerd culture and become a household name. It was the first little person porn ever. And coincidentally, the same year also saw the release of The Hobbit and Walt Disney’s Snow White. But did […]

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